I'm just wondering when women with three kids in their 20's start to grow up and build instead of focusing on the destruction they have made but choose to blame everyone else?
I guess some people just stay mean even if they think they're angels.

"Years ago, I was staying at a pastor's house while I was preaching in his church. The first day I slept in his home, I became very frustrated early the next morning. About 5 am, the telephone started ringing- and it rang and rang and rang. I began to count the rings- thirty, forty, fortyfive rings. Finally on the fiftieth ring, I got up, and I put my clothes, and walked down the hallway to the kitchen, mumbling to myself, 'If no one else cares enough to get up and answer this telephone, I'll do it!'

I picked up the receiver and said, 'Hello.' But to my amazement, the phone just kept on ringing, even though I was holding the receiver in my hand! Then I noticed that the ringing wasn't coming from the telephone at all, but from something to my right that was covered with a big white sheet...there in a big cage was a Grey African parrot looking back at me!"

Rick Renner


If you own any book in your home, make sure you own Sparkling Gem from the Greek by Rick Renner. His daily devotions break down the biblical words that go beyoud the english dictionary into the meanings of how the Greeks intended it through scripture. Today he exponds on Hebrews 10:23 and his word today...profession.

first of all, I am really being tested with my faith, wavering up and down as rocky as a midnight storm. Hard to see, hard to handle. Unstable and out of control. I feel like my life is whirlwinding in spirals and it seems to go on and on and on. But I want to believe. I want to know his encouragement and I want to have his faith. Sometimes I have met people that talk like they know what they're talking about, but they don't. Its a picture they adapted into showing only a surface color but nothing indept.
I look at myself and I think, I don't want to be like that.

I don't want to talk superficial
live superficial
and be superficial.

profession was an interesting word he pulled to digest from the Greeks. with the translation homologia, spliting the word in two; homo and logo.
homo being one of the very same.
logo being words.
of course together being to say the same thing.

the thing is though, it is something you develope over and over and over. Which is kinda like a profession.
Over and over, if I thought to listen to nonsence, over a period of time I would start to mimick nonsence, which then I would start to become nonsence.


Okay, to personalize this because it feels like I'm teaching a class, I read this thinking that I have a good stable faith foundation in Christ. I know what he's doing and I trust him. But lately its really been put on testing grounds and I want to just scream at him. Although from time to time I feel a little bitter start to seed through, I know that when it starts to happen what always follows is resentment and hate. It falls me back from growing and I end up looking for someone else that's just as superficial as my pain. But this has happened before right? being let down, struggling, starting over, rebuilding. It's almost like a repeat, parroting if you will. It feels the same, but it's not, it's a mimick.

I believe God did this episode for a reason that I do not know quite yet, but I believe that this episode is not like the other episodes. It may be a mimick of the same, but something in it is different. But I also believe that my faith is not in what seems to be the same but what is different. Because it feels like I go through this same mountain over and over and over, I am realizing that it has become my profession.

I need to stop.

My profession shouldn't be on the desire to look for my future love
but to hold on to my faith without a future love.


Idk
sometimes I know what I'm talking about,
and sometimes I don't.



I just need a little peace of mind right now and Rick Renner helped for the day.